Monday, January 28, 2013

Point Break Blows


I don’t like Point Break. You know – the movie. People always talk about it as being a good action film. It’s even boosted on a pedestal in Simon Pegg’s “Hot Fuzz”.

I don't get it. I really don't. Why do people like the movie? For an action movie it's OK at best but the talent completely destroys my love for it. Two of the three biggest stars are most likely jokes to the world from Hollywood. I'm convinced of it. We have Keanu Reeves who is most known for a boring bullet-dodger from "The Matrix" and a pot-smoking dropout in "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure". Really? Have you watched his performance in "Point Break"? It's horrible. HORRIBLE. Go ahead, go watch it right now. I know you own it. Everyone in the world except for me bought it for five bucks in the bargain bin of Wal-Mart. I'll wait.
...

Back? See?! HE IS A HORRIBLE ACTOR. The "whoa!" jokes from The Matrix are more than just a play on the stupidity of Neo as a character.

While you were at it I bet you noticed the other unfortunate half of the film: Gary Busey. As an actor he is ok I suppose. I can't really be a huge judge of character or talent because I try not to watch him. He scares me.

This is my nightmare.


You see my point. On a somewhat related point (I'm not trying to say "point" so much, it's just a coincidence) did you ever see his Comedy Central show? Holy crap was it bad. It was almost my breaking point....ha!

I'm sorry. I hate puns.

After all the overly long surfing scenes and the tragic watching of Keanu's sad excuse for acting we have the sole good part of the film: Patrick Swayze. While I'm not completely sure that he wasn't trying to seduce Mister Reeves for the entire two hours I am convinced he is a very good actor. He also can pull off a pretty good bank robbery while wearing a Richard Nixon mask. The rest of it is even more surfing, slow motion running as his hair flaps in the breeze, and screaming over the death of his fellow Nixon robber/tanned surfer.

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